Hello friends,
I used to be addicted to Jesus. Like most addictions it started when I was young and ignorant. I was raised in a very religious house that showed me all the wonders of the Jesus drug. I was hooked at an early age, at about 7 I "gave my life" to Jesus vowing to always obey his laws and sell his "enlightenment" to everyone I knew. I did just that, getting my childhood friends to dabble in the ecstasy that is the "presence" of god by taking them to Sunday school and Bible camp, you know the "good" stuff.
By the time I reached high school I was completely addicted, shouting from the rooftops how great my life was and how others needed to "get in on this". I began to see the world differently and all the "evil" that was in it. The gay kid in my class must be told the errors of his ways so I ridiculed him mercilessly. After all my dealers (pastors) told me it was a sin to be gay and if they didn't stop their hideous ways they would burn in hell for eternity. Out of "love" I told this classmate that daily and mocked him and was genuinely afraid of catching his "disease".
Not long after I graduated high school my 14 year old brother was killed in an auto accident. Thankfully I knew he was "saved" and thus would be in heaven. This pushed me deeper into my addiction leading me to read the Bible daily and want to become a youth minister so I could make sure no one would be sent to hell if they died the same age as my brother.
I can't really pinpoint what brought me out of my addiction, except my thirst for more Jesus led to more bible reading and trying to learn the history of the church/religion. During my binge sessions I began notice things that didn't quite line up with my world view. The first to fall was my approval of capital punishment, Jesus clearly stopped a women from being stoned to death so he wasn't for it why should I be? More and more layers began to fall as I slowly opened my eyes to the damage I've caused to not only myself but to people I claimed to love.
Religion taught me about people before I even met them. Gays are evil, atheist are immoral, members of other religions are blinded by their culture (the irony!). I had only met one gay person up to this point, never knew an atheist and the few other religious people I encountered were moderate "users" at best. Then I began to open my eyes to the world around me, my coworker is gay? but he's sooo cool and doesn't even prance! My friends brother in law is an atheist? but he's the most generous person I know! None of these people fit what my religion taught me about them, why? Questions led to more questions and less need for a preexisting world view. My therapy had started.
I still sometimes weep knowing how poorly I treated that young man from high school and I see everyday the damage caused by people like me. As it turns out my baby sister is gay and although she has come out to most of her friends and some family my parents don't know and she fears being kicked out of the house if they find out. This is partly why I have adopted the unicorn as my identity since so many would see it as a "gay" creature.
Like all addictions I still struggle at times with erasing the preconceived notions of the people around me, but I know with the help of my new family (that's you twitter friends) I will overcome!
I sincerely apologize to all those I've hurt and to those that struggle because of people like me I hope it gets better, please stay strong! Don't let others ignorance be the cause of your pain
Thanks for reading friends
@UnicornOnMoon
